


Have You an Ounce of Regret

by thekindworthreading



Category: Hamilton - Miranda
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Established Relationship, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-29
Updated: 2020-03-29
Packaged: 2021-03-01 05:27:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,024
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23379826
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thekindworthreading/pseuds/thekindworthreading
Summary: Jefferson slips up and says something to upset Hamilton during a cabinet meeting. Now he has to try to save their relationship.
Relationships: Alexander Hamilton/Thomas Jefferson
Comments: 2
Kudos: 141





	Have You an Ounce of Regret

**Author's Note:**

  * For [goddamnfaith](https://archiveofourown.org/users/goddamnfaith/gifts).



> I posted this on tumblr for an ask I got from the dear @goddamnfaith, who is just the sweetest human possible! So thank for you for the idea!

The cabinet meeting, if you could even call it that, seeing as “screaming match between Secretary Jefferson and Secretary Hamilton” would be a more fitted name, has been going on for almost two hours now. Even Washington seems to grow tired of their constant fighting, glancing impatiently at the clock, but Hamilton just keeps talking.

“So I hope you understand now, why this plan is from uttermost importance. I have spent weeks drafting it. It would be foolish not to support my proposal.”, Hamilton concludes his speech, and Jefferson rolls his eyes.

He gets up from his chair, walking over to where Hamilton is standing in the middle of the room.

“Go cry about that to your mother, Hamilton. Even if you´d spent months on this, that wouldn´t change the fact that it is shit.”

At Jefferson´s words, Alexander takes a step back, as if he has physically hit him. For a moment there is shock and hurt written all over his face, before he composes himself again and starts another monologue in response. This time, though, his speech lacks his usual passion, and from time to time he drifts off, and needs a moment to find his pacing again. All he can think about are Thomas´ words, echoing over and over in his mind. His mother´s death was something he had told Thomas about only recently, in one of the many nights they had spent together. It hurts having his trust broken like that. He avoids looking at the other man, but he can still feel his eyes on him, pleading him to even give him a glance.

After what feels like hours, but a look at the clock tells him that it was not even twenty minutes, Washington ends the meeting, and Alexander can´t help but let out a sigh of relief. He catches the President looking at him with a worried expression and gives him a reassuring nod and a small smile.

Out of the corner of his eyes he sees Jefferson approaching him and quickly ducks out of the room, hurrying down the corridor. A few seconds later he hears steps behind him, quickly catching up with him.

“Alex-“, Jefferson starts.

He grabs his arm to get him to stop, but he yanks it free, marching on down the hallway.

“Can you wait a moment, please?”, he tries again, but Alexander only glares at him.

“Leave me alone, Jefferson.”, there is so much venom in his voice that it even surprises himself.

He can see the muscles working in the other man´s jaw at the use of his last name, but he ignores it. All he can think about is getting away from Thomas. He just wants to be alone to maybe cry and throw something, probably a vase against a wall. A moment later, though, he notices that he had made a mistake and taken a wrong path, because he meets a dead end and has to stop. Before he can turn around, Thomas grabs his arms and holds him in place, even as he squirms to get away.

“Alex, listen to me. I´m sorry about what I´ve said about your mother. It… it just slipped out.”

Alex huffs.

“You don´t get it, do you?”

Thomas shakes his head, still holding on tight to Alexander´s arms, even though he is no longer trying to get away.

“I´m afraid not. I don´t know what you mean.”

Alex sighs, looking at Thomas as if he is stupid.

“I told that to you, Thomas, my lover, not my political opponent Secretary Jefferson. You had no right to say that in the meeting. We have made clear from the beginning that we would keep what we do in private separated from our work.”

Thomas gives him a small nod.

“I know. I-“, but Alex interrupts him once more.

“I don´t know if I can trust you again.”

He shrugs Thomas´ hands off, who just stares at him in shock, and turns away to walk to his office.

“I wasn´t even thinking about what you told me. I could have said it to anyone. Alex, please.”

At that Alexander turns around again, looking him in the eyes for the first time.

“But you didn´t. You said it to me.”, his voice breaks at the last word, a tear slipping down his face.

Thomas takes a tentative step forward, raising his hand as if to touch Alexander´s arm, but drops it again.

“Alex, I… I don´t know what to do.”

For a moment Alex doesn´t answer, and Thomas starts to think that he has ruined the best thing he had in his life, but then the younger man sighs, giving him a small sad smile.

“I´m still incredibly mad at you, but at the same time I just want you to hold me.”

Thomas doesn´t hesitate a second, before he pulls Alex to him, wrapping his arms around his small frame. He buries his face in Alexander´s hair, breathing in the smell of his lover.

“I´m so sorry, darling.”

“I know.”, Alex gives back.

“I hope you can forgive me sometime. I could not bear to lose you.”

Alexander huffs, holding on tighter.

“You are such an asshole. Stop saying such sweet things when I´m trying to be mad at you.”

Thomas laughs happily at that and presses a quick kiss to his lover´s head.

“So all is forgiven?”, he asks hopefully.

“You wish.”, Alex gives back.

He tilts his head, so that he can look Thomas in the eye, and Thomas can see a mischievous glint there.

“You can show me just how sorry you are, when you visit me tonight.”

At that Thomas feels a shudder run through his body, and Alex grins.

“You truly are a terrible person.”

After he has made sure that no one sees them, Alex gets on his tiptoes and presses a quick kiss to Thomas´ lips.

“See you tonight, asshole.”

And with that he is gone, leaving Thomas alone and desperate for more.


End file.
